I was that difficult child.

circa 1984

A friend and former employee recently met my mom and told her, “You raised a good one!”

To which my mom promptly replied:

“Oh she raised herself!”

Her laugh dripped with memories of sheer exhaustion.

Several clients (and many friends over the years) have come to me seeking guidance about a child that is especially difficult for them to parent.

They know I’ve had my own “spirited” children . . .

And that I’ve devoted a lot of energy to figuring out how to support their autonomy and independence—without letting them become mini-dictators of the household!

But the truth is, the strongest foundation for my parenting insights comes from my own experience:

I was that difficult child.

When my mom says I raised myself, she means she absolutely did her best . . .

She received the books and advice from well-meaning relatives (and at one point even a hand-made paddle from her carpenter-friend!) with grace, and tried to implement many of them.

But in the end, she pretty much just threw up her hands and prayed!

And I’m not saying that’s THE winning strategy . . .

But I do want to say:

I’m so grateful that she recognized her limits with me, and didn’t go to any extreme measures to “get me under control.”

Because that whole time, while I recognized I was certainly a “problem child” for my mom, I also knew I had good reasons for acting the way I did.

And I felt VERY misunderstood.

I’m happy to report my parents are proud of who I am today (if somewhat bewildered about how it happened!)

I do feel like I had to figure a lot out for myself . . . 
as I’ve continued to do in my adult life.

And that has served me well.

Strong-willed children have that “fight” in them for a reason.

And YOU have that child for a reason.💡

I can help you figure it out.

If you have a child who feels impossible to reach, book a consultation.

I remember what it’s like to be that kid; I know there’s so much more going on under the behavior that’s driving you crazy.